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Three blind men and an elephant walk into a bar... — LiveJournal
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Subject:Change.
Time:09:02 am
Things are changing really fast in my life. And I'm real busy this holiday season, so I haven't had a chance to post anything. And I only have a couple minutes right now. Ha.

Most of the stuff seemed to happen on or around the 17th.

That was my last day with Whole Foods, for one thing. One of the biggest changes with that, actually, is not seeing my officemate every day. He and I got pretty close, but we never hung out much outside the office. We'll give that a try now.

And I was surprised to be moved by the death of Captain Beefheart. A college friend of mine and I e-mailed about it a little and we decided we were more affected because we're getting old - 69 now seems "too young to go" and still potentially productive.

More later I hope.
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Subject:Dirty Old Man.
Time:02:54 pm
Read Less.Collapse )
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Subject:Under the knife.
Time:10:47 pm
Surgery tomorrow. Early morning. Full anesthesia. Having 15-20 lipomas removed by one doctor while another doctor removes a small section of my vas deferens. Recovery should take a couple days. I expect to be back at work by Friday.

I can't eat or drink after midnight. The not-drinking is always hard for me. One of my Tourette symptoms is hyperdipsia - the excessive consumption of fluids. It's rare for me to go even 30 minutes without water or something else to drink. I'm honestly worried I'll forget and absentmindedly pour myself a glass of water.

I'm also a little nervous in general. Because I have problems with local anesthetics and terrible teeth, I've been knocked out a few times before, but it's always a little worrisome. Complications are rare, but the mind drifts to the rarities sometimes.

I think I'm more worried about the 1 in 10 chance than the one in 10,000. I'm worried I might be laid up for 5 days instead of 3, or I'll be at a pain level of 6 by the time I should be down to a 3 or something. Honestly, that doesn't sound all that bad, but it's a bit of a trapped feeling.

I think mostly I'm just nervous in general, rather than actually worrying about something in particular.
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Subject:Netflix.
Time:01:26 pm
Guess what movie I have coming next in Netflix.

Click here for a clue.Collapse )
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Subject:Sleep loss vs. The Internet.
Time:10:53 am
Last night and this morning, I half-remembered two things and couldn't remember the other half. Made me feel like I was getting Alzheimer, but I think the real problem was sleep loss induced memory deficits. Or maybe I'm just older.

Speaking of Alzheimer, the first thing I couldn't remember was "______ plaques and neurofibrillary tangles". That was last night. This morning, I remembered it was something-oid plaques. What what-oid? Fungoid? No, that makes no sense. I looked it up on the Google this morning.

Then this morning, for some reason, the word "renminbi" came to mind. I love saying that word aloud, even though I almost certainly say it wrong. I remembered clearly that it's a unit of currency for ... some country. What country? Something Asian, probably. I know the names of the currencies for India, Indonesia, Malaysia, and a couple others. Myanmar? Viet Nam? Fuck. Well, I Googled that bitch just now and chuckled a little that I had forgotten.

Results and final scoreCollapse )
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Subject:Why I resigned from AAR, LLC.
Time:12:52 pm
I've told this in person, in bits in pieces, to a lot of people, and posted a bit onto a couple Flipside lists, but I don't know if I ever put down the full story, and I feel like clarifying where I stand on things, especially in light of some of the drama going down right now.

The entire reason I left was that I wasn't having enough fun anymore.

Read more...Collapse ) I also feel a responsibility (not a chore) to lead by example. I like to say "Flipside is far too important to take seriously."

That's an amusing irony, Read more...Collapse )

I'm surprised how little I miss it. Read more...Collapse ) Maybe that's because I have this art project planned, and it seems like I have some very fun and capable people interested in helping make it happen.

I still want to have a meeting to get us all on the same page before I go public with any specifics, but I'm excited about it. Maybe I'm just happy to have a new group of potential drinking buddies.
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Subject:30 days of misery, day 17
Time:10:46 am
I've got tuberculosis or some shit. TMICollapse )
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Current Music:E Lili'u E by The Kalima Brothers
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Subject:30 days of misery, day 4.
Time:10:26 am
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Subject:Flipside Report Card.
Time:10:20 am
So, how'd I do on my intentions?

Feel really, really free on several occasions.

A. More freer more often than I would have guessed.

Accept an unexpected gift.

A. Got hit in the face with a snowball by someone I barely knew. She was aiming for my shoulder and thought I was someone else, and was very embarrassed. The big snowball fight had ended several minutes later, and I was too hot to stand up to go to it, so I had watched it from HQ about a hundred yards away. It wasn't too hard, and it was very cold, and bits of it got stuck in the bib of my overalls and kept me cool for awhile.

Expect an unaccepted gift.

B-. Some guy walking in the high heat of the day in the parking lot didn't want a ride back to the camping area, because he was enjoying his walk.

Play some Theremin.

F. Did not even set it up once.

Drink some great beer.

A. Big Belgian Beer Breakfast was a smashing success. I had originally scheduled it to start at the effigy, not realizing that the heat was already punishing by 9am.

We hemmed and hawed about where to move it and how to let latecomers know we had done so. Someone found some sign-making materials and put something up, and we just put the beer in a cooler on a wagon and took the show on the road. We'd stop at a theme camp, open up a bottle or three, take a small taste ourselves and share the rest with our hosts. We'd stay longer at a better camp (good shade, solid food, good company, or additional beers, for instance), and move along faster from less hospitable locales.

The movable feast version is by far the best way to do this. By the end of the morning, we were good and tipsy, but not all shit-hammered, since we had been able to split each bottle among more people. So we still got to taste each beer, but then when we wanted to taste another, we didn't have to make the painful decision between wasting half the bottle or wasting ourselves. Plus we had to get up and walk for awhile every few minutes, and every camp was giving us water. We also got to see a lot more people and share beer with them

Turn down some good beer and rest.

C+. Should have cut myself off sooner a couple times and slept a bit more, but it was still an improvement over previous years.

Help someone stay calm.

A+. Two very well-timed hugs for different incidents involving someone leaving for the hospital.

Have a significant and memorable impact on someone's first Flipside.

A++. Beer Belly Buddha Ballet was delayed by multiple hours, and I was in the middle of a couple other things at the same time, but I slipped away and popped on my tutu and managed to get there in time to get on the lineup. Of course, all of the various Beer Belly Buddhas that were intending to join me had gotten lost in the shuffle, and as usual, I had to recruit from the crowd. So I made a pass through the crowd and got a few guys interested. Just as we're about to go on, I see the champion standing nervously in the crowd.

So this guy is maybe 3 inches taller than me, and his belly is easily twice my size. He's wearing a tutu, and one of those funny bras with the little felt cones sewed all over with the jingle bells at the end. And I'm like, "Sweet, you're here. We're on next, let's go." And he had no idea what I was talking about. He was a buck-fresh newbie, still pie-eyed at all the madness. His campmates (who also claimed ignorance of the BBBB) had given him the choice between his ridiculous get-up or shirt-cocking. It was that kind of perfect serendipity that makes me want to burn all my stats textbooks.

He was nervous and shy and bumping his head against his shell, but he could also tell that the coincidence was too much to ignore, and plugged his nose and jumped on stage. There were only four of us, and we'd had no preparation and even Monk and I had a little stagefright because we were just hanging out there with all the bright lights trying to make it go. That only added to the adrenaline rush and relief of coming off stage.

The new guy was pumped. He's like "I'm a natural performer, I love being on stage, and this is totally what I needed right now." And now he's really part of Flipside, instead of just watching it from behind a tree, he's out there prancing around. I felt so happy about that.

Have a significant but forgettable, perhaps unknown, impact on several other people's Flipside.

A. This one was pretty easy, and I won't put up too many examples.

During the Harem Rampage, three of us were fanning people with giant palm fronds. Not as flashy as the dancing and the grapes and the lipstick-kisses being put on people's cheeks, but I think it really added to the overall ambiance.

Caught two pairs of flip-flops wrapped tightly in a sarong, floating down the river. Brought it onshore. It probably had come from one of the upstream beaches. I hope the owners found it eventually.

Learn something new about someone I've known for awhile.

C-. I learned a few little things about a few people, but nothing really stands out as "wow, I didn't know that about you". Maybe I did and I've forgotten - but then it doesn't really count as learning, does it?

Teach someone something they didn't know before.

C-. One of my wife's belly dance troupers didn't know how funny I was, so I guess that counts.

The only teaching that I can recall distinctly was a painful lesson in radical self-reliance by denying entry to a couple that showed up after the gate was closed. She had already been there and had an in/out pass, and he had a ticket, but it was several hours after gate close.

We really had no way to process them at that point and I would have had to take the scary risk of letting him in unwavered. (And that's a risk also to the rest of the board and to the landowner.) I invited them to watch the burn from the county road - where I was watching it. (So, really, people, how bad could that be if I'm choosing it freely?) They hung out for 20 minutes or so and got bored and left. They whined a lot about not being able to be at the party. She had loud conversations on her cellphone about how she had gotten written up that morning by her boss for being late because she had a flat tire. Everything was someone else's fault - not even bad luck, but other people being uncool to them. It was pretty clear they blamed me for them not getting in.

I was relieved when they decided to take off. I don't know if the lesson sunk in much, but they at least learned something about Flipside if not about themselves.

A few minutes later, some guy was leaving because he had to work in the morning and didn't know if he'd be able to get out after the burn. I flagged him down and invited him to watch, and he was immensely grateful for the opportunity to see the burn from a distance before heading back to town.

See some old friends.

A-. Heck yeah. Mother, John Juan, Shoebox, Tigger, Apple, SherryLJM, the Tuckers, and a bunch more people I've hardly seen in years.

Make some new friends.

B-. I got a little closer with some people I've met a few times but didn't know well. I had nice chats with a few campmates I didn't know well and I got to know our terrific neighbors at Wacky Shack a bit better. I can only think of a couple people that I met completely new and would count as a Facebook Friend, much less someone I'll seek out in person.

Let the event unfold as it wants to and not try to push my agenda or schedule on myself or anyone else.

B+. Not playing Theremin was a result of this, but I did push against it a bit. When I was in the mood I didn't have time and when I had time I wasn't in the mood. I tried to push my mood once, but did eventually let it go.

Feel a little bad for a little while about something or other, but not too bad for too long about too many things.

A-. I felt bad enough for long enough that I can remember when and what it was I felt bad about, and might even want to take action on at some point, but I think I came pretty close to nailing this one.

Try to explain something ridiculous, like why I call Bourbon a "girl's drink" or what *really* happened to the dinosaurs, to someone who doesn't really care about what I have to say but still enjoys the way I say it.

A-. It was different from my normal brand of bullshit, so it's not what I was expecting, but I had a huge shit-ton of fun talking crazy gypsy talk with Amalgam Coast on the Harem Rampage.

There were two broad styles of bullshit. My favorite was pretending to talk about something in particular or comment on something someone else was saying, but speak with a thick accent and not use proper grammar, but keep rambling until there was no possibility of being understood clearly. (Helps that I had no real point to make.) That, unfortunately, was too nonsensical to remember even a snippet of. I realized partway through the evening that this was greatly inspired by the character of the diner owner from Muppets Take Manhattan, combined with the urban street crazy patter that I've been doing since college.

The other style, which was far more memorable, was making up proverbs from the home country. "In my country, we have saying" or "There is old gypsy saying". Given their inherent nonsensicality, it was easy to make them sound different by emphasizing different words, and acting as though they applied to whatever situation you had at hand. The best ones I can remember were:

Today you are my uncle, but tonight you are my brother.
The moon is like Polish woman: Very large, but very far away.
The beer is gift, but the mug is stolen.

Part of the inspiration for these was 3Mustafas3, and I realized they had a great one, too, which I started using alongside the rest:

You can't coat a wolf in chocolate, because the wolf already has it's own fur.
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Subject:Flipside intentions.
Time:12:55 pm
Lots of people are doing this. I'm always a bit concerned about letting intentions become expectations, so I'll keep this a bit loose. So for Flipside this year, I intend to:

Feel really, really free on several occasions.

Accept an unexpected gift.

Expect an unaccepted gift.

Play some Theremin.

Drink some great beer.

Turn down some good beer and rest.

Help some stay calm.

Have a significant and memorable impact on someone's first Flipside.

Have a significant but forgettable, perhaps unknown, impact on several other people's Flipside.

Learn something new about someone I've known for awhile.

Teach someone something they didn't know before.

See some old friends.

Make some new friends.

Let the event unfold as it wants to and not try to push my agenda or schedule on myself or anyone else.

Feel a little bad for a little while about something or other, but not too bad for too long about too many things.

Try to explain something ridiculous, like why I call Bourbon a "girl's drink" or what *really* happened to the dinosaurs, to someone who doesn't really care about what I have to say but still enjoys the way I say it.
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Subject:B-52's.
Time:06:12 pm
I just got two free tickets to the B-52s from my neighbor who can't go. I can't go either. Go to my Facebook to claim them. http://www.facebook.com/#!/NobodobodoN

It's tonight, doors open at 8pm. Less than two hours. Gotta swing by my house to pick up the tickets. Hope these don't go to waste.

-=0=-
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Subject:Freedom.
Time:11:05 pm
I've been thinking a bit about freedom lately. Sometimes I don't feel very free. Between the kids and the job and the house and just the inexorable march of time and the aging and impending doom that come with it, I'm more aware than ever of external limits on my freedom.

Yet in some ways, I guess I'm not significantly less free than I've ever been. I reflect back over various periods in my life, different places I've lived and different people I've been, and I realize that there was always something or other holding me back. Read more...Collapse )
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Subject:Birthday fantasy.
Time:02:40 pm
I'm turning 40 on Friday. I have this fantasy for my birthday.

Emerald and I come home from dinner, pay the sitter, and head upstairs. In our bed are two beautiful young women. And since variety is the spice of life, one is very voluptuous, the other slender. One is tall, the other short. One has very long hair, the other very short; one dark, the other light. One has a high, giggly voice, the other gravelly and full. They greet us each with a gentle kiss. And then ...Collapse )
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Three blind men and an elephant walk into a bar... — LiveJournal
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